Sleepless Nights, Work and Planning a Visit to Utah

October 25, 2023

I woke up at 1:30 a.m. Once again the reality of what happened Saturday night hit me. Nights seem to be when it’s most intense. It’s ok, I’m giving myself as much grace and time as I need. I’m not in a hurry to “get over it”, I know there is no getting over it. I will learn to live with it without it haunting me. It will take time. 

I wrote my blog and went back to sleep at 4:30 a.m. I woke up again at 5:18 a.m. I straightened up the house where I was overnight pet sitting at. I woke up Angel and made my tea. We got ready and headed to work. 

My first job went good. Angel did her schoolwork learning how to count money and phonics. My 2nd job is where my dog Little Bit’s mom and sister live. I had Little Bit with me and he had a great time playing with his dog family. Angel finished her schoolwork and listened to “The First Four Years” on audio and played with the dogs. I had a good talk with my client. She shared the experiences she had with her husband on a trip to Vermont earlier in the month. It sounded so beautiful. I was so happy for them. 

Next, I delivered the local newspaper and Angel listened to her audiobook. The route went good. I’ve been thinking about quitting delivering the papers but I’m undecided. I enjoy it but my schedule is so busy. I could be making a lot more money during those 2 hours, I have cleaning clients on a waiting list, but I’m not doing it for the money. I’m doing it because I like it. So for now I’ll keep doing it. 

My last cleaning job of the day went good. Angel drew pictures and listened to her audiobook. She is getting really good at drawing. I told her that we can write a children’s book together and she can draw the pictures for it. She really liked that idea. 

When I finished work, we stopped by my pet sitting job that is now ended and dropped off the key. I had a great talk with the pet owners while Angel played with the dogs. Then we went home. I skipped supper and took a long hot bath instead. Then I laid down in the banana hut and had a good talk with my oldest son. I am going to fly out and visit them this winter in January. It will be nice to spend time with my 2 boys and grandkids and while I’m there, I’m going to go skiing. I haven’t been skiing since my 20’s. 

When I got off of the phone, Angel and Christopher came in the banana hut and we had a fun family talk time. Angel played us a song on the xylophone. I enjoyed watching her practice to get the notes to sound just right. I read a couple of chapters out loud from the book we are reading as a family “Summer of Light”. Then we said our good nights and went to bed. I was tired from not sleeping much and I fell asleep right away at around 8:30 p.m.

I am grateful for great talks with great people. 

I am grateful for love. 

I am grateful for so many people reaching out to me with hugs and kind words. 

I am grateful for family time. 

I am grateful for experiencing another day. 

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I dearly appreciate you. 



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