Dear Diary and Friends,
A week ago I let go of a relationship that wasn’t working. It drained me of my vibrant energy. The Holy Spirit had told me to let go of that relationship long before I did. I kept doubting that guidance. When I finally did let the relationship go. I felt profound relief. I felt like I had been sinking in water and suddenly I sprung back to the surface again. Even though I felt relief from ending the relationship. I was also feeling extreme guilt and shame for thinking I had been hurtful to that person by breaking it off.
I asked for help from friends on ways of releasing that guilt and shame. I received an overwhelmingly beautiful amount of responses. I realized that what I did wasn’t mean at all. It was kindness. Staying in the relationship would have been hurtful to both of us. The day after I asked for help from friends and released the shame and guilt. I met a man, a local man out here in small town nowhere Texas. It happened to be on a Wednesday. We spent an hour talking about spirituality. It was great fun. I really liked him. We agreed to meet on Saturday. We were both very excited to have met each other.
Thursday we messaged a few times. Then I called him on my drive home Thursday evening. We talked the whole hour long drive. He made me laugh a lot and it was an invigorating conversation about wild animals and rain and fruit trees. I was liking this guy even more. He didn’t drain me at all. We were running at the same frequency.
Today, which is Friday I ended up working my last job of the day out by where he lived. I messaged him and asked if I could stop by after work. He said ok. I was super excited to see him again. I finally finished work and headed to his place. I passed by his gate so I turned around and drove back. Then I saw him waving me down. He was smiling and jumping up and down. I knew he was just as excited to see me as I was to see him.
I pull up to his place. It is wild and beautiful with lots and lots of trees. The first thing he shows me is his tiny house that he build by hand. Tiny house! Yes!! He built it!! So awesome!! He shows me inside and I now want to move in. I love tiny houses. It has lots of windows and reminds me of my previous tiny house that I had built only bigger. It’s not finished yet and he’s telling me about his future plans about how he is going to finish it. I’m smiling from ear to ear. This place is amazing and it’s going to get even better. Then he shows me around outside. He has fruit trees planted and a greenhouse and a garden space and a really freaking awesome junk yard. I was in heaven on earth. I loved it!
We talked and laughed and laughed some more. I felt completely safe letting my “weirdness” surface and he understood because his “weirdness” is similar to mine. He smelled so good to me when we hugged, like sunshine and dirt. I can’t remember ever feeling so attracted to someone. I wanted to soak him up. Am I falling in love so soon? Of course I am. It feels light and fun.
I managed to head home before it got late. Tomorrow we will spend the day together. I’m looking forward to it.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life.