Big Anger, Wonderful Husband, Caretaking and a Birthday Party

January 2 and 3, 2023,

Woke up at 5 a.m. I stretched, made my bed and went into the house. I greeted Christopher, made tea and a smoothie. Then I hung laundry on the line, gave Christopher a big long hug and headed to town. My first house I cleaned was quick and easy. My clients were there and we had some fun conversations while I cleaned. I had some free time before I had to be at a caretaking opportunity. A friend happened to call and we had a fantastic conversation about choosing kindness even when others are not being kind; knowing your intention, knowing your heart and standing  strong in your power and intention while continuing to remain kind. I have such amazing conversations with my friends! I stopped at Moon River to say hi to my friends there and did the same at the bookstore. I was delighted that they were open again after being closed a week for the holidays. 

I arrived right on time for my caretaking position. I was looking forward to spending time with my clients on our first day together. When I arrived, there was a note from her husband that said my client was out and about with him and he wanted me to thoroughly clean the house and wash the sheets. I was instantly angry. I accepted this very low paying caretaker position out of kindness for the family. For my cleaning business I would charge a lot more for doing a deep clean, way way way more than the poverty wages I receive from the home health care company. If the family didn’t have the money to afford my cleaning services then I would have felt differently. But they have plenty of money and I felt taken advantage of. I angrily scrubbed and still did a professional cleaning. As I cleaned, I wrestled with my anger. It was a big anger, way bigger than the situation called for and I knew some deep suppressed emotions had surfaced. I thought of ways to talk to my clients husband about this but the anger was too strong to think clearly and logically. My clients husband had asked me before if I could do light housekeeping while taking care of his wife. I had said yes thinking I would tidy up here and there while taking care of my client but I didn’t agree to a deep clean without my client being there at all. I prayed for clarity and decided to simply feel the feelings and not attempt to resolve the situation in any way until I could meditate on it without an emotional attachment. I didn’t get it all done before I had to leave to clean my next house. I would have to come back to finish. My client for my next house messaged and wanted me to stay longer to do extra stuff. I knew there was no way I would be home on time to relieve Christopher from Angel duty so he could spend time with his friends in the woods. I decided that I would take Angel with me on Tuesdays from now on so I wouldn’t be rushing to get home on time every week. I called Christopher when I was on my way to my next house and told him I would be late. He said he needed to leave on time and didn’t know what to do to resolve it. I started crying. I was too emotionally distraught to come up with a solution. I said I would call my clients saying I would be an hour late and drive home to get Angel and drive back. I cried even more feeling exhausted and not wanting to drive all the way home and back again. Christopher came up with a different solution of taking Angel with him and I could meet with him to get her after work. That felt better to me and I was relieved that I could finish my houses without having to drive home and back. I continued crying regardless. I was having a big emotional purge and it was in full swing. I cried openly until I arrived at my clients. Then I collected myself and did a great job of cleaning. It took me an hour longer than usual but looked great when I finished. I drove back to my caretaking house to finish up there. My client and her husband were there. He was friendly and I thought about talking to him about separating deep cleaning from caretaking but I felt it best to wait until I had time to fully process things and spend time in prayer and meditation. I finished up making the beds and my client helped me. We laughed and had fun putting the beds together. This is why I accepted this position, to interact with my client and spend time with her. My heart was happy that I was able to get some of that in today. 

When I finished, I was happy to be heading home. I thought about calling a friend to talk out my big emotions but I knew that was not in my best interest. I didn’t want advice or other peoples opinions. I knew I had the answers inside me and the Holy Spirit was my best guide. I met up with Christopher and got Angel. Christopher said the guys were moving their night to Wednesdays so I wouldn’t be rushed on Tuesdays. I felt blessed to have such a wonderful understanding husband. I was dog tired by the time we got home. I had only eaten a Lara bar all day because my stomach doesn’t digest well when I get emotionally upset. It was pouring rain so we skipped our bath. I made Angel an easy supper and we went to bed in the banana hut. I wrote my blog while Angel played with her toys and listened to an audiobook. It felt good to write. We went to sleep at around 8 p.m. 

January 3, 2023

I woke up at 6 a.m. It felt good to sleep late. I stretched and prayed my thanksgivings and gratitudes. 

  • Thank you for clarity. I am grateful for the vision. 
  • Thank you for gifts. I am grateful to receive them. 
  • Thank you for anger. I am grateful for my illusions being brought to light. 
  • Thank you for children. I am grateful for their teachings. 

Little Bit was happy I was awake and started jumping all over me licking my face. Angel woke up laughing at Bits jumping all over me. That got Little Bit even more excited. He jumped down onto the trundle bed and starting licking Angel’s face and jumping all over her. We were both laughing at his silliness. I got up and went in the house. I greeted Christopher and made my tea. We chatted as I got ready to go to town. Angel came in and got ready to go with me. I had only one house to clean today, then I would be caretaking and delivering the newspaper. After that I would take Angel to a birthday party. 

When we arrived in town, Angel did her schoolwork while I cleaned. It was quick and easy clean and it looked great when I finished. Angel had almost finished her school assignments. She is getting good with phonics and digraphs. Digraphs have been a big step in improving her reading skills and I enjoy seeing her progress. Angel started doing her math on the drive to my caretaking position. Math is her favorite and comes naturally to her. Today’s math was even better than regular math, it was patterns which is easy stuff for Angel. At the caretaking house, I talked with my client (let’s call her Ms. M) and her husband while Angel finished her math. Then Ms. M went with Angel and I to the library and the Rockdale Reporter. The newspapers weren’t there yet, so we talked with my friends that work there while we waited. When the papers arrived, Angel stayed to hang out with my friend at the front desk and played matching games on my friends tablet. Ms. M came with me to deliver papers. She held Little Bit (who goes with me everywhere) while I took the papers into business around town. She loves Little Bit and he loves her. He was blissed out laying on her lap getting petted. I wasn’t sure how Ms. M would like going along on the paper route but she enjoyed it and I liked having her along. Ms. M’s family requested for me to take her out to do things and were pleased with the idea when I suggested taking her with me to deliver newspapers. 

After the route was over, I took Ms. M home. Her husband was happy things had gone well and I was happy about that too. Then I took Angel to her friends birthday party. It was a fun party. I had a great time talking with the moms who are my friends while the kids played. The cake that my friend made was amazing. She said it took her four days to make and I imagine it did, it was a masterpiece. We left the party early so I would be home on time to do a coaching phone call. Angel was not happy about leaving early but got over it quickly when I put on an audiobook for her to listen to on the drive home. 

At home, I greeted Christopher and got settled into the banana hut to call my client for a coaching session. The session went great and as always, I got a lot out of it myself. When I finished, Christopher had supper ready. I had a big salad and we all shared what we were grateful for. After eating, I took a hot bath that Christopher had ready for me. I got in and soaked for a few minutes, then I got out and took a cold shower. I didn’t have my phone with me to time the shower, so I did it the old fashioned way and counted out 2 minutes, 120 seconds. The first 30 seconds seems to be the most intense. Then my mind settles into the fact that it can handle my body being pelted with cold water for another minute and a half. Some of y’all might think I’m torturing myself with cold showers but I’m not, it’s for fun and it’s invigorating and I get a lot of benefits from doing it. After surviving the 2 minutes, I got back into the bath and enjoyed the feeling of my body warming up. I felt alive and blessed. 

Angel got in the bath and stayed in after I got out. I got on my PJ’s, then put a training collar on Chance that had arrived in the mail. I took him outside and worked with him with the collar. I set the collar to a beeping sound and he was very responsive to it. If he didn’t come when I called him, I would signal the beeping sound, he would immediately come back. I was pleased with our training session and he got lots of positive reinforcement for being a good dog. 

When it got dark, we all met up in the banana hut. By we, I mean, Angel, Christopher, myself, 3 dogs and 2 cats. I read 3 chapters from Hank the Cowdog book 6. Then we said our good nights. Christopher went in the house. Angel stayed with me on the trundle bed. We went to sleep right away at around 8 p.m. 

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I dearly appreciate you. 



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