Sunday, March 2, 2025
Dear Diary,
Good morning God,
- Thank you for this day.
- Thank you for nutritious food.
- Thank you for will.
- Thank you for farms.
- Thank you for rest.
I love you!
I awoke at 5AM. My stomach still hurt and I had inflammation in my body but not as bad. I got up and fed the animals. Then I drove to Lila’s, to feed her and let her out. She had thrown up in the night and two big piles of vomit were in the middle of the living room. I wasn’t sure why she had thrown up because she hadn’t eaten anything unusual and the vomit looked to be only her dog food. She was happy and energetic though. I gave her lots of love and decided to spend extra time with her that afternoon.
I drove back to my farm sitting house. I made tea and wrote my blog until Angel woke up. I made her breakfast and started cleaning the house. I cleaned for over 3 hours. I still wasn’t feeling that great but I was definitely feeling better. I have been really struggling to eat foods that I know work for me and I keep eating things that I know will made me sick. I’m not sure why I’m choosing this but I asked for guidance and clarity and I know I will receive it. I feel amazing when I eat raw fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds. I ate that way for years and felt so good everyday. I had high energy all the time and rarely got sick. I haven’t been eating that way consistently since I got with Christopher in Texas when he started making food for me. I want to feel amazing again and thrive like I know I can do. God showed me what to eat in order to thrive and I desire to know why I keep choosing differently. Since moving to Idaho, I’ve been eating even worse. I need help. I don’t want to keep sabotaging myself. I am knowingly hurting myself and my health is going downhill fast. Living close to my family again is bringing up some deep pain from my childhood. I was sick a lot as a kid and I am revisiting unhealed childhood experiences. I’ve noticed a lot of triggers have come up living close to my family. The triggers I ran away from when I moved to Texas. I pray to be shown what needs healed. I know it has to do with my burnt leg because my leg has been aching and aching. It has to do with my mom and my sister. It has to do with forgiveness.
Angel played games on her phone while I cleaned. The inflammation in my body started to lessen by the time I finished and the house looked great. I checked on the animals one last time. Then Angel and I loaded our food and suitcase in the truck and drove home. We brought everything inside and left again to go to church. I had been wanting to visit the Nazarene church and decided this was the Sunday I would do it.
We were greeted warmly when we arrived and there were other kids there for Angel to play with. I really really enjoyed the singing and the sharing and the sermon was inspirational. I still wasn’t feeling 100%. My head was cloudy and I felt really tired during the service. There was a potluck after and I seriously thought about skipping it. I wanted to fellowship with people though and I still felt bad enough that I wasn’t tempted to eat anything that would make me feel worse. I ate a small amount of potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn and deviled egg but mostly I chatted with people and that was the best part. I love people so much. I really enjoyed myself and Angel had fun playing with the kids.
When it was getting close to time to leave, I helped clean up in the kitchen. Then we left and went to let Lila out. It was another beautiful sunny day. I wanted to spend extra time with Lila to see how she was doing. I felt bad for her being alone so much. We sat out back with the dogs and basked in the sun for an hour or so until it was time to go to the Assembly of God church to watch a movie.
I did not like the movie at all. It was political and fear based. I do not fill my mind with political drama, nor do I promote a political party. There are things within both parties that I like and don’t like. Political parties are man made and are used to promote fear and hate. I have been called to love people and promote gratitude and kindness. I have not been called to promote a man made political party. I see posts on Facebook promoting one political side or the other and all they do is trigger people and bring about fear and name calling. People that claim to be “Christian” calling other people stupid and other names, instead of reaching out with compassion and understanding. When I was a child “Christians” were some of the meanest people I knew and it is still the case. On the other hand “Christians” are also some of the kindest people I know. We are all human and anyone who is acting unkindly is acting out their own fears and suffering and they also need compassion and understanding, no matter what they believe. I do not label myself as Christian. I interpret the Bible differently than most Christians, I believe the Bible is a book about energy and consciousness. Everything is energy and so is God. God is love.
I didn’t want to watch the movie, so I sat out in the foyer and wrote my blog. Soon, most of the kids lost interest in the movie and ran around playing. Another lady joined me and we enjoyed each other’s company while we watched the kids. She leads the women’s Bible study on Tuesday mornings and I really like her.
After the movie, we checked on Lila and fed her. Then we went home and I took a nap while Angel played in her room. The people I had just finished farm sitting for messaged me letting me know that they had made it home and were very happy with the job I did. Yay!! I drove to their house and got paid, then I stopped by my older sisters to pick up some of my packages that had been delivered there. Then we went to Lila’s, fed her and let her out.
Back at home, I fed Angel and we opened the packages. They were miniature games of Battleship and Clue. I am replacing our full size games with smaller versions. I hadn’t realized how little these games were going to be. They were tiny. We tried playing battleship but needed tweezers to put the pegs in. I looked at the miniature game of clue and put it aside. I got out the full size game of clue and taught Angel how to play. She liked it and we played a second game. Then we brushed our teeth and went to bed. I put on a sleep meditation and we went to sleep at around 9:30 PM.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.
Love, Victoria
P. S. This blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit.