Christopher and I do not own a TV and would rather sit outside in nature than be inside staring at a screen. Then a couple of months ago I bought the DVD series for the first season on Wagon Train as a surprise gift for Christopher since we had fond memories of watching it as a child. Since then we watch one episode on the laptop in the evenings after putting Angel to bed. This has been a lot of fun and we have made it part of our evening ritual.
Another thing I have been doing in my life the past 6 months is studying and practicing the use of conscious language. I have expanded my understanding of the power of the spoken word. I see clearly how my inner and outer speech create my reality. For example: feel the difference in saying “I don’t know how”, then say “I choose to know how”. Those statements have a completely different energy. The first statement calls forth unconsciousness while the second statement calls forth consciousness. Which do I choose? I choose consciousness of course! I choose to know.
One evening while watching Wagon Train with Christopher, the show had a sick woman dying of consumption and a strong and healthy woman taking care of the sick woman. As I was watching I suddenly realized that I was relating to the sick woman. I was feeling what I imagined she was feeling. As a child my right leg was severely burned with hot water. I spent my childhood in hospitals getting surgeries.
Then I had chronic infections, pneumonia, bronchitis, strep throat, bladder infections. I was constantly on antibiotics. This continued through my adulthood adding on more and more illnesses mental and physical until at the age of 34 I was so sick I could barely get out of bed. Then I changed my diet to raw vegan. I became healthy and life became amazing…until I would eat something “wrong” or touch toxic chemicals or breathe toxic perfumes or I would see violence or someone would be unkind to me, etc….then I would be mentally or physically sick for a few days. Sickness is very familiar to me! Clarity came to me on how subconsciously I still choose to be sick sometimes without consciously realizing it. Deep inside I was still choosing to identify with being a sick helpless child. I asked myself, how do I be the strong woman rather than the sick woman. Why am I choosing to be a sick child rather than a strong woman? How do I choose differently without faking it?
The answer came to me instantly. I sat up and started decreeing “I reclaim my health” over and over. Christopher looked at me as if asking, “what is going on?”. I paused the show and told him what I had come to understand. We both celebrated my victory together.
I choose health.
I reclaim my strength.
My body works perfectly.
I am that which I desire to be. So what do I truly desire? I desire to be fully conscious and so I am. 😄
Thank y’all for reading my blog. I appreciate you.