Wednesday March 19, 2025
Dear Diary,
Good morning God,
- Thank you for this day.
- Thank you for Angel.
- Thank you for everything working out.
- Thank you for extra sleep.
- Thank you for beautiful music.
- Thank you for Bits.
- Thank you for love.
I love you!
I awoke at 4 AM. I wrote my blog and played wordle and connections. I started Angels breakfast cooking and checked to see if Highway 95 was opened to one lane yet. It wasn’t and I was feeling stressed about it opening up on time for me to do an overnight pet sitting in New Meadows on Friday taking care of Lucky. The stress made me feel tired. I turned Angels breakfast down to cook on low and went back to sleep for a half hour. When I woke up, I finished cooking Angels breakfast and made myself tea. I woke her up to eat and got ready to go.
We went to Lila’s, let her out and fed her. Then I drove to Cambridge to do a cleaning opportunity. I was hired to deep clean a 5th wheel. It wasn’t that dirty but it still took me almost 5 hours to finish it. I didn’t plan on it taking me that long and we missed homeschool co-op.
When I finished cleaning the place looked great. That RV was spotless, including the inside and outside of the windows. Since we missed homeschool co-op, Angel asked if she could go ride Grayce the horse instead. That was a great idea since we were already in Cambridge. I called Noah and asked if we could come over so Angel could ride Grayce. He said that we could and that he had a couple of pineapples for me that he picked up yesterday when he went down to the valley. Before we left to go to Noah’s, I checked to see if the highway was open and it was still closed. Ugh.
When we arrived at Noah’s, he got Grayce ready for Angel to ride. Then he offered me some elk stew. I told him that I didn’t eat meat but thanked him for the generous offer. He started talking about protein and asked me where I got my protein. I explained to him that all food has amino acids and if I ate 2,000 calories in watermelon, I would get 120% off my daily protein needs met. He said that he didn’t believe that and went into a lecture about how he studied nutrition years ago and he knows more about nutrition than most people. I didn’t bother telling him how many years I had studied nutrition because he wanted to be right and wasn’t interested in my input. I just said that I had not eaten meat in 20 years and I still didn’t have a protein deficiency and all my serious health issues cleared up. He wasn’t interested in that either, he wanted to convince me that I had to eat meat. I wasn’t interested in arguing about my diet. I don’t understand why some people are bothered by what I choose to eat. I know what foods I feel best eating. I was starting to feel irritated with being pressured to do something that wasn’t in alignment with what I wanted to do and I didn’t want to listen to his know-it-all talk. I immediately became present with the irritation I was feeling. I noticed the tense feeling in my body and I noticed my defensiveness. As I allowed the feeling to be felt. I received clarity that I was projecting the stress I was feeling about the closed highway. Noah was simply sharing with me his opinions and I was choosing to be defensive rather than accepting. My feeling of irritation transformed into compassion for my own suffering. I wasn’t living in faith that everything would work out. I wasn’t accepting what is and I was miserable because of it.
Angel did great riding Grayce. Noah got on his other horse and rode with her for a while. They rode up the dirt road and I walked over to a creek that runs through the property. I stood and listened to the sounds of the water and watched it flow. I love the sound of flowing water. I messaged a cleaning client that I had in McCall tomorrow and let her know that I wouldn’t be there to clean because the highway was closed. She was very understanding and said we could reschedule when the highway opens up. I was getting ready to call the other cleaning client I had scheduled for tomorrow in New Meadows when he called me. He also said that we could reschedule when the highway opens up. I felt better that I had Thursday taking care of even though I was losing income. I was still hopeful that the highway would open up in time for me to take care of Lucky on Friday.
Noah and Angel returned from their ride and I got the pineapples Noah had bought out of the house. He wouldn’t let me pay him for them and I thanked him. He said that giving is receiving. Truth! We left and when we arrived in Council, I let Lila out and we went home.
I took a nap while Angel played in her room. Shortly after I woke up, Jason called and we talked for a while. Then I got off the phone and made Angel dinner. I checked to see if the highway was open and it was still closed. I messaged Lila’s owner. He had told me a while ago that he had someone else that could take care of Lila in case I couldn’t. In the message I asked him if he could have the other person take care of Lila this weekend in case the highway didn’t open up and I needed to drive the long way around to do an overnight pet sitting in New Meadows. He said that he had lost touch with the other person a while back and he would be home next week. He then said to let him know if I was going to abandon Lila. Abandon Lila?!?! Why would he even think that I could abandon Lila. She would be stuck in the house without food or water. I couldn’t even imagine doing something that awful. I was simply inquiring as to what my options were. I figured if I had to, I would drive the long way around and back everyday. The irritated feeling returned. I have been taking care of Lila for 3 weeks and it’s been a huge time commitment for very little pay. I agreed to the pay because it’s what her owner could afford but taking care of Lila is a lot of work and I feel sad for her. I spend as much time as I can with her in between other things I have going on. Sometimes I go there 4 times a day to let her out to run around and I always go 3 times a day but still she is alone a lot. At least she has the cat there with her and they are often cuddled up together when I come in. I have done a really good job taking care of her and the thought that I would abandon her got me riled up.
Again, I allowed the feeling to be there and I sat with it. I received clarity that Lila’s owner is working long hours out of state and feels bad that he can’t be with Lila. He probably feels like he has abandoned Lila in a way and is fully relying on me to be there to take care of her. I had brought up his fears by suggesting that I might need someone else to take care of her when he had no one else. I was able to understand where he was coming from but I still was stressed about what to do about watching Lucky. If the highway wasn’t opened up by the morning, I would message Lucky’s owners to let them know I wouldn’t be able to watch her. They pay really well and I didn’t want to lose more income, plus they had already bought their plane tickets. I will see what happens.
When Angel finished eating, we went to Lila’s. I fed her and let her out. Then we went to a Spring Chorus Program at the Mennonite church. The editor of the newspaper asked me to write an article about the program and I was looking forward to it. The program was absolutely delightful. The choirs sang a cappella and the harmonies were in perfect pitch. After the singing, the Mennonites provided food for everyone to enjoy. Angel played with the kids while I interviewed the pastor of the church and the choir directors, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Then I sat and talked with a Mennonite lady and my friend Camille who was there too. The Mennonite lady was super friendly and we all had a great talk.
When it was time to go, I found Angel upstairs in the Mennonite school classroom playing with the kids. The classroom was really neat and reminded me of the classroom in a private school I went to in first and second grade.
After we left, I let Lila out and we went home. My daughter Savana called and we talked for a while. Then I got off the phone and we got ready for bed. I put on a sleep meditation and we went to sleep at 11 PM.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.
Love, Victoria
P. S. This blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit.
P. S. S. This was Wednesday. A lot has happened since then. Stay tuned.