Friday, July 26, 2024
Dear Diary,
I woke up at 5:30 AM. I prayed my gratitudes:
- I am grateful for a relaxing morning.
- I am grateful for the opportunity to build a relationship with Tracey.
- I am grateful for the beautiful rain we’ve gotten.
- I am grateful that Christopher and I are separating peacefully.
- I am grateful to be in a musical play.
- I am grateful for birds and dogs and cats and goats
I wrote my blog until 7 AM. I had the front door open for the banana hut and all the dogs and cats joined us in there. The three Yorkies were running all around the bed with Bits. Christopher must have let them out. I started to drift back to sleep when Angel woke up. She was laughing about a Yorkie being by her head and two cats being by her feet as soon as she opened, her eyes. She said it was a wonderful surprise. She crawled in bed with me and squirmed around like she does. We cuddled for a few minutes. Then I got up and started a bath. I come back and changed the sheets. I love clean sheets. I went in the house and greeted Christopher. He was still in bed and said he was sick with a stomach bug. I asked if he needed anything and he said he didn’t.
I got in the bath and it was heavenly. It’s been a while since I took a bath in the outdoor bathtub. I’m going to miss my bathtub in the woods. When we move to Idaho, I have plans to build a greenhouse and put an outdoor bathtub in it surrounded by tropical plants.
Angel joined me in the bath when suddenly I realized what time it was. It was almost time to take the yorkies back to their owners. I quickly got out, hurried into the house and got dressed. I put the yorkies in their kennels, put them in the truck and drove down the road to meet their owner. We were meeting up a couple miles down the road and he was there waiting when I arrived. We put the yorkies in the car and I told him that I was moving. He took the news well and said they would find someone else to watch the dogs.
When I got back home, I made a smoothie and left again to meet up with a friend in Rockdale. Angel stayed home with Christopher.
When I got to town, I went through the car wash and stopped at the store to buy some produce. Then I went to Moon brew to meet up with my friend. There was a few people at Moon Brew when I walked in. Rita was there, her and Val and Tracey’s adult son was there too, helping out. Rita and Tracey were married when they were younger and they had a son together. When they got divorced, Rita married Val. A little over a year ago, Rita and Val invited Tracey to come stay on their land. He agreed and we met shortly after that, since Rita and Val are friends of mine. Tracey and I had an instant connection and developed a friendship that slowly grew into a deep love and appreciation for each other. In the meantime, Christopher and I had been struggling to maintain any sort of connection for a couple of years and we were drifting farther and farther apart. He didn’t want to travel with me or do any of the things I enjoyed doing. He wanted me to sit at home with him and drink and smoke weed. When I completely stopped drinking and smoking weed on February 1 of this year, the gap between us grew. I kept busy and avoided being home because the energy was not good at home. It seemed like I was constantly being criticized and accused of doing things I wasn’t doing. I kept praying for guidance and clarity and I received it. I clearly saw that I hadn’t connected with Christopher for the right reason in the first place. I hadn’t been honest with myself at that time because I had a vision of living on land and building a tiny house with someone. Christopher had land and was already building a tiny house. I thought my vision was being manifested and I didn’t check in with my heart or intuition. I knew from the beginning that Christopher drank daily and we weren’t energetically connected. Immediately, we had difficulty communicating. That wasn’t something that I was willing to get real with myself about until recently. I ignored what was right before my eyes because I fell in love with the land. I thought communication between Christopher and I would improve but it didn’t. The opposite happened, our conversations were based on what we were doing that day and the weather. It became a lonely and empty relationship.
At Moon Brew, my friend and I had a great conversation about asking for guidance through prayer and following the guidance received. It was good spending time with her. When we finished our conversation, I drove to Tracey’s. We talked and he made me tea while I worked on a suduko puzzle.
Then we cuddled and spent time getting to know each other better.
When it was time to leave for dress rehearsal, I drove home, unloaded groceries and went to the theater. I was nervous about dress rehearsal. I wasn’t sure I would remember all my lines. I prayed that all would go well and it did. I did great and so did the rest of the cast. Tracey and Angel came to watch the show and it was fun knowing they were in the audience even though the “audience” was only 4 people.
When it was over, Tracey followed us home until we turned off the highway. When I pulled up to the house, Christopher was sitting outside in the dark surrounded by empty beer cans talking on the phone. I put away clean clothes, collected eggs and closed in the birds for the night. Then Angel and I got into bed in the banana hut. I called Tracey and we said our good nights. I put on a unicorn sleep meditation and we fell asleep at around 11 PM.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.
Love, Victoria
P.S. this blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit.
(K.C. this post is all you get)