3 days, Newspapers, Bats, Laughter and Processing Emotions

Wednesday July 31, 2024

Dear Diary,

I woke up at 4 AM. Tracey was awake and we laid in bed next to each other. I wrote my blog and we shared our gratitudes. Mine were:

  • I am grateful for nature and all its beauty I get to enjoy. 
  • I am grateful to be loved and adored. 
  • I am grateful for yummy healthy food. 
  • I am grateful to feel young. 
  • I am grateful for Angel. 

Tracey loves mornings as much as I do and it was wonderful sharing our joy about the start of a new day. Tracey put on a morning meditation and I attempted to doze off while listening to it but wasn’t able to. At 6 AM, I got up and started waking Angel up. She was having trouble waking up since she stayed up late last night. She had been excited to sleep in a new bed at a new place. I made Angel waffles for breakfast and she got up right as the first one was ready. Tracey made me tea, it’s so wonderful having tea made for me and he makes really good tea. Today’s tea was neem leaf, matcha, turmeric, cinnamon, cardamom and honey. 

Angel and I got ready to leave to go to town. Right when we were ready to leave, Angel couldn’t find her phone. We looked all over and finally found it but now I was running way behind schedule to clean a house. My client messaged me when I was driving there and asked if I was coming to clean today. I messaged back, telling her I would be there in 15 minutes. 

When we arrived, I apologized for being late. My client said it wasn’t a problem at all, she had just thought that she might have gotten the day I was coming mixed up. Bits was excited to be there because it was his dog mom’s house and they love playing together. Angel got started on her schoolwork while I got started cleaning. She was cranky and uncooperative for a while but then it seemed to pass and she was back to being a happy kid. She ended up finishing her math book because she only had 6 pages until the end. Now we get to the start the next level of math which I’m excited about. 

I finished cleaning and talked to my client for a few minutes. This is the last time I will clean for her and she wished me well on my upcoming adventures. I told her I would be coming to visit and we hugged goodbye.

I picked up Ms. M and drove to the Lutheran church. Ms. M sat and watched Angel play in the nursery while I cleaned. I chatted with the pastor a few minutes and enjoyed cleaning. When I finished, the newspapers still hadn’t arrived yet for me to deliver them. So I went to the Episcopal church and cleaned it. Ms. M and Angel hung out together in the nursery while I cleaned. Ms. M did her word search puzzles and enjoyed watching Angel. It was my Sunday to set up the altar at the church and I also did that while I was there. 

I still hadn’t heard from the Rockdale Reporter about the papers arriving by the time I finished. I drove there to see what was going on and they didn’t know why the papers were running so late. I got Ms. M sat down up front and I started to feel frustrated because I had things I wanted to do that afternoon. I didn’t want to be delivering papers that late. I took a few deep breaths and decided to calm down. I sat up front with Ms. M and Suzy and filled out my receipt forms. I called Tracey and we had fun laughing about the mishaps of life. I remembered that I needed to print out divorce papers and this was a good time to do it. I then felt grateful for the opportunity the newspapers running late had offered me. I printed out the divorce papers and as soon as I finished the newspapers arrived. Yay! 

Angel stayed at the Reporter to play on her phone while I did the paper route. Ms. M likes going on the route with me because she gets to see everything as I drive all over town. The route went really well and when I finished, I got Angel, took Ms. M home and went to Tracey’s. 

I greeted Tracey and we hung out at his place for a while. Then we went to Christopher’s to get some of my things. Christopher was out in the woods drinking with his friends. I made a bunch of juice and some waffle mix for Angel. Then we loaded up my wooden chest and took it to Tracey’s. I wasn’t sure if it would fit in his RV but amazingly it did. Tracey went to the store while I organized some things in the RV. Then Angel and I played mancala

When Tracey got back, he went to put away Rita and Val’s goats for the night while I read Angel stories. We all went to bed and I put on Little Town on the Prairie for Angel to listen to. Tracey and I snuggled and talked and fell asleep at around 11 PM. 

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you. 

Love, Victoria 

P.S. this blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Dear diary,

I woke up at 1 AM. Tracey was not lying next to me. I didn’t know where he could be, so I got up and found him sleeping on the couch. I touched him and it woke him up. I asked him why he was on the couch. He said he was processing some fears. I asked if he wanted to process them together. We laid on the bed and I held him and asked him what his fears were. He didn’t tell me at first but then he opened up and shared what was going on with him. I held him while he cried. Then I did a healing touch on him using different tones. We talked and eventually drifted back to sleep. 

I woke again at 5:30 AM. Tracey put on a morning meditation and made tea, while I wrote my blog. At 6 AM I got Angel up and made her waffles. Tracey made tea which was really yummy. I packed up the smoothie I had made yesterday and took Angel to her horse riding lessons. She hadn’t been to her lessons in a long time and she was excited. Her instructor had her ride an english saddle for the first time. Angel did really good on it but likes the western saddle better since that is what she is used to. 

After lessons were over, we picked up my grandson Finn and got Ms. M. We met up with my friend Rachele at the splash pad so our kids could play together. Ms. M sat and watched the kids while Rachele and I talked. Then, I took Angel and Finn to Christopher so he could spend time with his grandson. While I was there, I grabbed a few things and started driving back to Rockdale. A couple of miles down the road, I realized that I had forgotten Bits and a quilt that I made a while ago that I want to have completed on a longarm machine. 

I drove back to the house, got Bits and the quilt and hearted (headed) out again. I dropped off the quilt and took Ms. M to get her hair done. I sat down on the couch to wait and instantly fell asleep. When Ms. M was finished, the beautician woke me up. I had been sleeping so hard that I was disoriented for a few seconds. Then I realized where I was and took Ms. M home. 

I drove to Tracey’s, we snuggled and talked for a while. Then I went home to get Angel and met up with Tracey to do a farm sitting opportunity. After taking care of the animals, we stopped at a little creek on the property and splashed around in the water. I love that little creek. 

We hearted (headed) to Austin to see the bats under the bridge on Congress ave. On the way, we stopped at MT Supermarket and bought some durian and longons. Then we went out to eat at Bouldin Creek cafe. While waiting to be seated, we sat outside in a small courtyard enjoying the city energy. Angel climbed a tree and ran around exploring. We were seated at a table outside and ordered our food. I ordered roasted cauliflower and a salad with grilled poblano mushrooms. The food was really yummy but I ate too much and there were a lot of added ingredients that my body wasn’t used to. I had a slight stomach ache. 

It was dark when we left and we weren’t sure if we had missed the bats. It was only a 5 minute drive there and Tracey got me laughing so hard on the way, I thought I would have to pull over until I stopped laughing in order to finish the drive. We made it there regardless. I quickly parked and we walked over to the bat bridge. The bats were still flying out from under it and it was fun watching them. We walked along the green belt next to the river for a while. We were laughing and having a lot of fun. Angel would run ahead and hold really still to camouflage herself so that we wouldn’t see her when we walked past. We could always see her though. We got off the path and walked back to the truck through business parking lots. By the time we got to the truck it was getting really late. Tracey drove us home and we listed to Little Town on the Prairie on the drive. I was really tired and fell asleep. I hadn’t been getting very much sleep at night. 

When we arrived at Tracey’s, we greeted the dogs and brought in the groceries. I put on an audiobook for Angel and we went to sleep at around 1 AM. 

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life.I appreciate you. 

Love, Victoria 

P.S. this blog post is inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

Friday August 2, 2024

Dear Diary, 

I woke up at 6 am. I had a tummy ache from the restaurant food and my body had inflammation. I also hadn’t gotten much sleep again. Tracey made tea while I wrote my blog. Then I took a short morning nap. Angel woke me up and I was still so very tired. Tracey wasn’t around and I figured he was out on a walk. I made Angel waffles and wrote my blog while Angel ate and watched a movie on her DVD player. 

Tracey came in from a walk and I told him I wasn’t feeling good from the restaurant food. He took me outside and did a healing session on me outside in the sun. When he finished, I felt a little bit better. I went for a swim in the pond and when I got back Angel wanted to eat durian. I told her we could and went to find Tracey to see if he wanted to join us. I found him in the bedroom eating. I asked if he wanted to join us in blessing and eating the durian and he said no thank you. 

Angel and I opened up the durian at the kitchen table and it was a really good one. We ate until we couldn’t eat anymore and then saved the rest for later. Angel went outside to play and I went to hang out with Tracey. He seemed sad about something and wouldn’t talk about it. I was feeling so tired and I had so much inflammation going on in my body. My mind was foggy and I didn’t know what was going on. I became really upset. I went in the living room and started crying. I was flooded with an incredible amount of emotion. Tracey came and got me. He did healing touch on me for a few minutes. Then Angel came in and laid down on the bed complaining that no one would go swimming with her. This went on for a while until finally I suggested she go outside and get 10 pine cones for me. She wanted to know what they were for and I told her I just wanted them. She decided she would do that and went outside to find the pine cones. When she brought them back in, I asked her to think of something she could make with them. She thought about it and came up with a plan. Tracey and I talked while Angel created her masterpiece. When she finished, she had colored the pine cones green and made a forest with them. I was proud of her creativity and told her so. 

Angel and I went swimming in the pond. Then I got ready to go farm sit and go to play practice. On the way, I stopped and dropped off Angel with Christopher. She was staying the night there since Tracey and I were going kayaking in the morning. I was feeling nervous about leaving her there since I could tell Christopher had already had a lot to drink. 

I took care of the animals at my farm sitting opportunity and I bathed in the creek. The water felt so refreshing and wonderful. There’s a place next to the dirt driveway where the water runs through a culvert and creates a pool. It’s a perfect pool to bathe in. If I lived there, that would be where I would take my daily bath. It’s such a magical place.  

Driving to play practice, I (hands free) messaged my friend Rachele about watching Angel in the morning while Tracey and I went kayaking. She said she would and I messaged Christopher letting him know that I would be picking Angel up after play practice. 

Play practice went great and we all had fun with it. When it was finished, I picked up Angel and I was glad I decided not to have her stay overnight. Christopher looked to be in bad shape. I know he is hurting and I pray he will face his feelings and process them rather than continuing to numb himself daily. He has a gentle and kind spirit but drinking keeps him in a constant state of numbness and the pain from his past and the pain he’s experiencing now will continue to fester inside of him and come out in bursts of anger unless he chooses to face his emotions with love and understanding. I pray he heals. 

We went to Tracey’s and I tucked Angel into bed and put on an audiobook for her to listen to. I was so tired. It seems like I haven’t been able to get much sleep lately. I sleep in short bursts throughout the night and attempt to nap here and there throughout the day. I keep experiencing a lot of fear and grief, which is understandable. Tracey was processing a lot of emotions himself tonight and I did a healing session on him. Shortly after that he said he felt dizzy and nauseous. He went in the bathroom and I could hear him throwing up. I fell asleep and woke up a little while later to Tracey asking for a towel. He was lying on the floor next to the bed. I got up and found one for him. I handed it to him and fell asleep again. 

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.

Love, Victoria

P. S. This blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit.

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