Sunday November 17, 2024
Dear Diary,
Good morning God,
- Thank you for this day.
- Thank you for snow.
- Thank you for good books.
- Thank you for joy.
- Thank you for gifts.
- Thank you for music.
I love you!
I woke up at 12:30 am. I played wordle and connections and wrote my blog. I read a Louis L’Amour book until I felt tired enough to fall asleep again. At 4 am I slept some more and woke up at 7:45 am. I looked outside because I knew it was supposed to be snowing. It was a winter wonderland outside and snow was coming down. I went downstairs and saw that my nephew was asleep on the couch. I quietly gave Huckleberry and Bits an anti-fungal bath. My sister got up and had my nephew move into her room to sleep. I was grateful for that because I needed to grind up wheat berries in the vitamix and it is really noisy. I ground up the wheat berries into flour and started a batch of sourdough bread. A lady from church wants to buy a loaf of fresh ground sourdough bread from me.
Angel woke up and ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast. We painted rocks for a half hour, then got ready for church. I made tea and smoothie. My smoothie had 10 bananas, homemade wild apple juice, turmeric and filtered water. Angel and I bundled up and walked to church in the snow. Angel scooped up and ate snow as we walked. I told her, “don’t eat any yellow snow”. She added, “or brown snow”, and laughed. Angel tried to get me to eat some snow and I didn’t want any part of it. She wanted a snow-eating partner and demanded to know why I wouldn’t eat any. I said that I’d eaten plenty of snow when I was a kid and it wasn’t my thing anymore. Saying, “that’s not my thing”, is a running joke between us. Angel says it when I ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Now the tides have turned 😂. Church was fantastic. The Sunday school lesson was about the power of prayer and the church service was about our worth. I left church feeling inspired and filled with the Holy Spirit.
We had a good walk home in the snow even if Angel did go right back into insisting that I eat snow with her. I held my ground. There was no chance I was eating any snow. When we got home, my sister was playing video games and my nephew had left. I vacuumed the house and kneaded the bread, then I put the bread in a warm oven to do a second rise. I made myself a red lentil vegetable soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for Angel.
Angel and I put another coat of paint on our rocks. Then she played with her legos and I started making dogs coats. By the time I was finished it was 9 pm. Sometime during that time, Angel had gone downstairs and was watching my sister play video games. I called her back upstairs and we got ready for bed. I read her a story and we snuggled up in my bed to do a half hour of personal reading time. Suddenly I remembered my bread rising in the oven. I ran downstairs and checked it. It had risen and gone flat. I decided to cook it and see what happened. I heated up the oven and read my Loius L’Amour book until the timer went off 45 minutes later. The bread didn’t turn out right which was no surprise 😂. I set it out to cool and went back to bed. I fell asleep at around 11 pm.
Monday November 18, 2024
Dear Diary,
Good morning God,
- Thank you for this day.
- Thank you for rest.
- Thank you for creativity.
- Thank you for new friends.
- Thank you for blessings.
- Thank you for snow.
I love you!
I woke up at 4:30 am. I played wordle and connections and wrote some of my blog. At 6:30 am, I fell back asleep until 7:30 am. Downstairs I could hear my sister talking in the phone to our mom. Our mom was sharing that her elderly dog had had a seizure on Saturday and she was crying. My sister was comforting her and asking how her dog was doing now. Our mom said that he has been doing fine since then. My sister mentioned some things that can help prevent seizures and was very loving, kind and understanding.
When my sister got off the phone, I finished getting dressed and came downstairs. She told me about our mom’s dog and I told her that I had overheard and I was glad he was ok. My sister left for work and I started laundry and made tea. Angel woke up and wanted 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast. I made them and warmed up some of the soup I had made yesterday for myself. I usually have smoothie in the morning but the soup was so good that I wanted that instead. We ate breakfast together, then Angel started on her math schoolwork. When laundry was done washing, I hung it on the clothes lines in my room and we got ready to leave to drive to McCall.
On the drive there we listened to 3rd grade math videos on multiplication. The snowy mountain views were breathtaking. Angel was oohing and aaahing over how beautiful everything looked. The roads were clear and not icy at all. Going up the canyon that leads into McCall, we got in a long line of cars following a semi truck going 10 mph up the mountain. I enjoyed going slow because it gave me a chance to take in the sights even more. The creek (Little Goose Creek) next to the highway looked so beautiful flowing over the rocks surrounded by snow.
When we arrived in McCall, we met my friend Brett at a thrift store. I was looking for fabric to make dog coats, snow gloves for Angel and snow pants for both of us. I started looking around when I received a text from my sister. She had copied and pasted a message that our mom had sent her. The message was really mean and attacked my sister, our mom accused my sister of having fake compassion about our mom’s dog having a seizure. It went on about other ways my sister has failed her and she accused my sister of not loving her. Arg! She likes to accuse her children of not loving her often. Which is very manipulative. Our mom constantly sees herself as a victim and blames her children for it.
After I read the message, I was furious. I’ve had it with of our mom being mean to her children and then playing the victim. Argh! I was steaming mad. Why can’t she just be nice?!?!?! I don’t understand why she is constantly causing drama for no reason. I felt more angry about her being mean to my sister than when she is mean to me. I know that hurt people hurt others and accuse others of causing their pain but I was fed up. My sister had been so kind and thoughtful to our mom on the phone, there is absolutely no reason for our mom to attack her. My sister took it way better than I did and messaged me saying “it is what it is”. She’s right!
At the thrift shop, I found a few things. Some winter shoe cleats and snow pants for me. They didn’t have fabric scraps so we walked a few blocks down the road to a fabric store but it was closed. We drove to the other thrift store in town and I hit the jackpot there. I found quite a bit of fabric to make dog coats, as well as winter mittens and snow pants for Angel.
After thrifting, we went to Brett’s house. He had made some homemade tortilla soup. I had some and it was really good. Angel had a bean and cheese taco. Then Brett and I played Yahtzee while Angel played on her phone. I won the first game of Yahtzee and Brett won the second game. Now we are tied.
Before leaving McCall, I did a bid on a house for a lady who would like a once a week cleaning done. We talked for a while, then she showed me around the house. It was a really cute cabin and it will be fun to clean it. She accepted my bid and we scheduled a time for me to start later in the week. I am so grateful to be getting some regular cleaning clients.
On the drive home, Angel and I listened to a Diary of a Wimpy Kid audiobook. I had a slight stomach ache from eating the tortilla soup. Something it in got to me. As soon as we arrived home, I laid down in bed and wrote some of my blog. When my sister came home, I got up and talked to her for a few minutes. Then Angel and I had a half hour of reading time. I’ve decided to start having Angel do quiet reading time daily and even though she didn’t like it at first, she enjoys it once she gets into her book.
When reading time was over, we painted rocks for a while until it was time for me to leave to go to Bible study. My stomach was still feeling upset and I didn’t feel like going to Bible study, plus I was still holding on to anger (which was probably the real cause of my upset stomach). I decided that Bible study was the best place to go if I was feeling angry. I got bundled up and walked there and I was glad I went. Bible study was really good. We all shared things that we are experiencing in our lives right now. Some shared praises and others shared struggles. I shared about the anger I was feeling towards my mom. I talked about how just when I think I’m at peace with her being how she is, then I get triggered again. I desire to heal all triggers around my mom and be in full acceptance of her as she is no matter what she says or does. A lady in the group offered to bring me a workbook about forgiveness. She said the workbook is about doing our inner work and getting real with ourselves. Yes! That is what I want. I accepted her offer and she said she will bring the book to me later this week. Thank you!
When I got home from Bible study, Angel and I got ready for bed. We read stories and I put on a sleep meditation for her to listen to in her room. I fell asleep at around 10 pm.
Tuesday November 19, 2024
Dear Diary,
Good morning God,
- Thank you for this day.
- Thank you for cleaning opportunities.
- Thank you for forgiveness.
- Thank you for anger.
- Thank you for clarity.
- Thank you for church.
I love you!
I woke up from 12:30 pm and played wordle and connections. I didn’t write my blog even though I was behind. I realized that I avoid writing my blog when I am experiencing strong negative emotions. It is easy to write about feeling joyful and blessed but when I feel angry or sad then I want to hide and not let the world see that part of myself. I think that it is a common practice to hide our “dark side” but I also know that being real and authentic is what helps others to see that it is possible to love and accept all parts of themselves. It’s ok for us to be human and imperfect. It’s what gives us depth.
I fell back asleep at 2:30 am and woke up again at 7:30 am. I talked to my sister before she left for work and made tea. I sat in my room and write my blog until Angel woke up. She was hungry and wanted 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast. She ate them while I made myself a smoothie. My smoothie had 10 bananas, homemade wild apple juice, spirulina, turmeric and filtered water. I also made 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for Angel to eat for lunch.
I looked at the time and realized it was already 9:30 am and Angel had jujitsu at 10 am. I still had to give the dogs their anti-fungal bath and get my cleaning supplies together. I had a cleaning opportunity that I had scheduled right after Angels class. I asked Angel to get ready to go while I gave Huckleberry his bath. When I finished bathing him, we had 3 minutes to get to Angels class. We jumped in the truck and I drove her there. Thankfully it was only 3 minutes away and we arrived on time. Angels class started and I told her I would be back. I went home and bathed Bits and got all my cleaning supplies together. I drove to the grocery store and bought raspberries. I stopped at the library and dropped off books. I checked out another Louis L’Amour book for myself. Then I went next door to the recreation center to get Angel from her class. She was upset because she didn’t get to participate much. Her instructor told her that she had to watch how the other kids did the moves for a few classes and then she would get to participate.
We stopped at the thrift store in Council really quick before going to my cleaning opportunity. I couldn’t check there for fabric yesterday because they were closed. I found some nice fabric and Angel found some little toys. The lady at the check out counter was rude to Angel and me. I’m not sure what her deal was but her sharpness made me long for the warmth people have in Texas. I didn’t respond to the ladies unkindness other than saying gently, “be nice”.
On the drive to my cleaning opportunity, I had to take the backroads because of a road detour. I was happy about that because the views were absolutely stunning. When we arrived, I got Angel started on her schoolwork and I got started cleaning. I did an extra thorough job and the cleaning took me twice as long as I had expected it to. My mom called while I was in the middle of cleaning. I wasn’t sure if I should answer after she had sent my sister that horrible message yesterday. I answered and she seemed to be in a good mood. She was shopping and wanted to know what Angel and I needed for Christmas. It was a friendly conversation and I was grateful.
My client was happy with my work and asked me to come back next week. Yay! When we got home, Angel and I took a bath. Then we walked to girls club at church. I was feeling really tired and wanted to skip going but I had volunteered to help and that’s what I was going to do. Besides it would be good for Angel to get to spend time with other girls her age.
I was glad we had gone because it was a lot of fun. All the girls there were between the ages of 8 and 11, so Angel got to be with girls her age. The girls said pledges, then we sang songs (which was my favorite part). Next we did an activity where each girl wrote a Christmas card to give to a soldier. Angel drew a horse on her card. Lastly the girls had snacks while they shared their praises and prayer requests. Each girl said a prayer and I thought that was a great way to get them comfortable with praying. I personally pray all the time giving thanks and asking for guidance and clarity. Prayer is what brought me the health I have and has changed my life in amazing ways.
When we got home from girls club. Angel and I got ready for bed. I read her stories and we did our half hour of reading time. Angel slept with me and we fell asleep at around 10 pm.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.
Love, Victoria
P.S. this blog post was inspired by the Holy Spirit.